at first, at the beginning
my female in me
five and delicate and independently free
raw and new
i build grass houses
i nurture my dolls
i dress up in high heels
i cuddle my rabbit
i mess with paint on my tortoise shell
i know I am female
just female as is
early on, in my teens
my female in me
fifteen and excited as I imagine the ever more
exploring, expressive and optimism now soars
i drink in sounds of music so new
i chase my dog in abandonement joy
i flip pancakes with my friends when they always want to stay
i drive dad's truck on the farm road till he turns grey
i dance my first dance and i drink my first drink
i know i am female
just female as is
later on, in my youthful glow
my female in me
twenty five and wonderfully alive
fulfillment in a future flowing river wide
i love a man and believe i will carry him a mile
i give birth to my children and melt at each first smile
i watch bright red blossoms open up in my garden
i hang my feet in a water pond and wriggle my painted toenails
i grow and dive and delve ever deeper below
i know i am female
just female as is
storming in unrelenting questioning and yearn
my female in me
forty and fiesty beyond belief
fiercely self sufficient and forever forging ahead
i miss a man and seek his past good
i cry for my children as they leave and say good bye
i travel the world and seek to find
i fly so high and discover many a blue sky
i leave a man and discover true grief beyond belief
i know i am female
just female as is
still in the mid, in my lonely alone
my female in me
fifty now, reflective and calm
centered in what i have learned
i still love with all my heart
i still miss deeply and desperately at times
i still linger in memories to carry my mind
i still long for moments of truth
i still learn from life so whole
i still always want to give to all
i sing my life song
i know i am female
just female as is
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